Life | So, did you get any flowers today? |
| Written by Derya Aktas |
| Thursday, 17 February 2011 22:01 |
 Photo: jonboy mitchell Valentines day is over. Some couples spent a romantic evening at an expensive restaurant and a multitude of people will have spent thousands on having red roses delivered, but shouldn't you be treated like this everyday? Love is not something you can take for granted or neglect, but something you have to nourish and take care of, otherwise your relationship may well go down the drain. When you have declared your love to your partner, there are some strings attached to that declaration, such as constant reminding and romantic gestures. Surely, these gestures shouldn't appear on just one day of the year? No matter what anybody says, romantic gestures are very important for a relationship. I’m not talking about the typical flowers and chocolates, but body warmth and the small intimate details. Everything from surprising your partner with a coffee after work or a cute text message can light up their day, and leave a smile on your face. I think the greatest importance lies within communication in a relationship and a matter of knowing each other. Without communication misunderstandings may occur, which in turn can lead to unnecessary quarrels. If you are unaware of each others wants or needs you possibly wont be able to fulfill each other to the same extent as when you did know each other better. People do not automatically know everything about one another when they get together, but learn during the growth of a steady relationship. It is a learning experience after all and to some this stage might be very exciting, as you find out different interesting things about your respective partner. However, some people may not like what they find or would like to know everything from the start. I do not think that every human being is 'an open book', even though it is a figure of speech, some claim they are. Personally I like to see every person as one book. The chapters being the years you are adding to your life, the context being what you experience, learn, regret, forget and simply everything else that you do. You choose whether it is fiction or non-fiction, which basically translates whether you’re true to yourself or not. Make believe isn’t good to anyone, even though you might like to live in a dream world. I think that as long as you stay true to yourself and to your beliefs, there is nothing that can come in your way, unless you let it. So, if you end up in a relationship that has potential, be communicative and honest with yourself and to your partner, and let them into your book and become a part of your chapters. Let the love your partner gives you be a part of the context, and most importantly do not be naïve, or non-fictional. Because after all, there are a myriad of brokenhearted love-puppies out there that have learnt their lesson, and in retrospect think about all the coulda-, woulda- and shoulda’s. So if your partner loves you, let him or her explain what it is they love about you, and if your partner doesn't explain their love, just ask for it. Just because you are together, does not make it obvious, there is a difference between loving somebody and being in love. That is why one should remind one another, so that love does not fade away before the next Valentines day. The last thing you should do is be with somebody just because of the security. You are after all in love with your partner. Derya Aktas Bibliography  Derya Aktas is born 1989 in Stockholm, Sweden. She has since early age been very interested in writing and been in touch of her creative side. She paints and draws sporadically in her free time. Creativeness feeds her soul and is what inspires her with everything she does. She has also studied in English since pre-school and is why she preferably tends to write in English even though she knows Swedish perfectly fine. She is also very interested in different cultures and ethnicities. |