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Columns The Hofverberg Column White men can’t jump (but they sure can play)
Columns The Hofverberg Column White men can’t jump (but they sure can play)
| White men can’t jump (but they sure can play) |
| Written by Christian Hofverberg |
| Sunday, 22 February 2009 20:39 |
 Read Christian Hofverbergs first monthly column only on urbanlife.se
Back in 1992 Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes taught us that white men can’t jump. But Billy Hoyle, Woody’s character, was a hell of a player. In the film, that refers to the game of basketball but in real life it could as easily be referred to the game between men and women. More precisely, black men and black women. And how white men get away with things that black men don’t. Did I hear a play on (white) playa?The image of the black man as a playa is a global one. At the best it’s an image of a smooth talking, sharp-dressed, somewhat immature and “scared of commitment” type of brotha that needs to grow as a person. At the worst it’s the image of an abusive, egocentric cheating-machine with little or no respect for the opposite sex. And both of these images may be true, depending on the man, the circumstances and maybe on what r’n’b-tune you just downloaded from the internet (don’t get it twisted though, I love r’n’b! Especially that “ghetto soaps, battle between the sexes”- r’n’b). In Sweden, there are about twenty-twenty one thousand divorces a year. The majority of them naturally have to be between white men and white woman. A good part, a small part - I honestly don’t know so let’s just settle for a part – of them has to have their origin in cheating, from either one of the parties or both. And maybe I’m just raising the prejudices towards my own sex here but at least in some of these divorces, the men has to be the bad guys. Keep in mind that I haven’t even mentioned break-ups in long-term relationships. So every year, thousands of Swedish men, white men, cheat, lie and manipulate their wife’s and partners. And yes, they may suffer for it, individually but as a group…hell no! At the same time black men gets hated on, as a group, by (many or a few? too many in my opinion though) black women, for things that some brother did to them individually. And that happens to annoy me a lot. Not because I’m bitter (because I’m not) or because I’m in a bad relationship (I’m in a great relationship, with a black woman). It’s because I don’t think we deserve it, or at least we deserve to be judge by the same standards as any other men. So my beautiful sistas, tell me, when did you stop loving us, when did we stop loving you? And more importantly, why? just a bunch of playersDid we really play you or did you just get played by the myth of the nice Swedish white man who’s always so kind? If that is so, be kind rewind please. I can’t account for how many times I’ve heard Swedish white men say that they would like to “try out a negress because they’re so exotic” but in the next sentence, without a hint of guilty conscience, say that they could never marry a black woman. And brothas, how many times have you heard black women say “They’re just a bunch of players” when talking about black men? Too often I guess. But don’t get me wrong here, I’m not hating on mixed race relationships. If you got the jungle fever and turn it into that chronically decease called love, I’m happy for you. But if you got the attitude that some black women carry with them when they meet black men, that talk to the hand-attitude, then I urge you to let down your guard and give a brotha, if not some love, at least a smile and a minute of conversation. So all my black women out there reading this, whether you’re doing it like Musiq and choose your partner just for the night or if you think you’ve found your everything like MJB, be sure to choose him for the right reasons… or the right wrong reasons. Christian Hofverberg 
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Comments
You should know better and your article makes no sense at all even if you and your black friends are´nt players.
Anyone that has spent time in the caribbean knows what i am talking about.
And don\'t get me wrong, my article was not intended to promote the \"greatness\" of monogamy (because we all know monogamy has its flaws). It\'s up the individual person to decide what type of relationship they want to have.
But do you think that black women in general, regardless if they live in Sweden, Africa or in the Carribean, happily accepts that their men plays around on the bases of the cultural legacy of polygamy? Please! YOU should know better!
My article deals with the lack of trust that many of our sisters have for us as black men. And how that lack of trust sometimes is justifiable because of the behaviour that we present, but on many times is a result of how they as women set different standards for black men compared to white men.
Men might be viewed as natural born players. But that view should then include all men, not only black men!
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